Everyone wants their own American Dream---their piece of the American pie. Yet, in pursuit of our “piece”, we will often make bad decisions or put our values/selves in second place. In focusing on our “piece”, we will often overlook the fact that we deserve more than a “piece”---we owe ourselves to pursue the “whole”. We also make what I like to call “Other Piece Mistakes”. We will-----
1. Focusing on the quick piece-by this I mean, we look for short-term gratification instead of long-term satisfaction. How many of us have not pursued higher education because we wanted to make money now? How about starting an intimate relationship with Mr. Right Now because it appears as if Mr. Right is taking too long to meet your timetable? In focusing on the quick piece, we often lose out on the benefits of what could bring us the needed whole. 2. Putting other’s piece before the quest for our own Peace-In talking with my sister-friends, it has often come up about the sacrifices they have made for their children, spouses, parents, friends, etc. It has not been uncommon to hear about giving up the desired promotion because it would not permit enough time at home with the children. How about the refusing or accepting a relocation that would provide the spouse with opportunities, but would leave her scrambling to find something? Even in putting lives on hold because their parents needed them? In doing so, we run the risk of being bitter, resentful, etc for the “piece” we gave up, thus negatively impacting our own peace of mind. 3. Letting the pursuit of piece impact our peace-We must prioritize. In this situation, we maintain tunnel vision. Our piece of the American Dream becomes our obsession. Instead of attempting to balance our desire for work and family, we choose one and become very good at it. However, in doing so, we feel somewhat empty or lost because we are not fulfilling all aspects of ourselves. Most of us can name a friend who has the greatest career, but looks around and, to paraphrase a line in the movie Mahogany, “doesn’t have anyone to share it with”, or sits at reunions of college classmates or former co-workers and wonders why she is no longer happy only talking about the great kids she is rearing…….
Excerpt from the Workshop by Dr. Tyffani M. Dent entitled “God, where is my piece (peace)?”
Dr. Tyffani Monford Dent is a licensed psychologist/consultant/motivational speaker. She is also the author of Girls Got Issues: A Woman’s Guide to Self-discovery and Healing. Girls Got Issues is available on her website www.MonfordDentConsulting.com and www.amazon.com. Follow Dr. Dent on twitter: drtyffanimdent. Dr. Dent is available to speak at women’s conferences/workshops.
